"FRIDAY THE SHIT-TEENTH" (2009 VERSION)

Lemme sum up what "Friday The 13th" (remake) is on a short paragraph.

It's a steamy pile of cow dung covered in burnt hair...the pile is slowly being cooked in a frying pan, and you have a gas mask on that is directly connected to the steam from the pile that is cooking.

...Actually, it's worse than that.

The moment I got into my car, I tried calling a friend up (who also witnessed this trainwreck of a movie), but I coudn't tell him how much I hated the movie because another friend of ours was on the other line with him saying the same thing.

I laughed during this movie...only due to comments by those in attendance, or because the scenes and acting were so ridiculous.

Here are the movie's problems:

-So many pointless references to weed
-So many pointless scenes
-Terrible acting
-Terrible script
-Extreme Predictability
-Boring death scenes...I mean honestly...If your movie is going to suck this much, why not have some good gore at least to hopefully salvage the film?
-Tons of fake Ta-Ta's...OK...this I don't get. What's with all the nudity in comedies and horror movies these days? All the women have huge, fake boobies...they look so damn tacky. How are these appealing? And, it also seems like screenwriters/directors are like, "Hey, we say 'fuck' in this movie...let's add some tits to make it more 'R-Rated'"...
-Aweful plotline
-Jason looked like shit...not scary
-Overall awefulness

A friend said it right..."People involved with this movie are like, 'welp...let's just make a piece of shit, but we'll make money this weekend, so it's all good.'"

Whatever happened to taking pride in your work in horror films in Hollywood?

I think every death in this movie could be shown on TNT after 10pm without censoring anything...no decapitations, no amputations, shit, man! this movie was aweful.

I know there are more things I want to say about this movie, but it's 3:54am.

I was looking forward to something great here...As I was a fan of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake...i know, i know, horror fans disagree. I thought that movie was done right for this generation.

"Friday The 13th" (2009) is worse than that worst parts in "Friday The 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan" and "Jason X" combined.

It's not even worth a rental price. How did this movie screen well for test audiences? Who, in their right mind could enjoy this movie?...please...if you see it, and liked it, tell me why you liked it, and then go look in the mirror and ask yourself why you are a complete moron.

Here's how I rate this movie on differnt scales:

0/5, 2% on the Rotten Tomato Meter, 0/5 (stars). 07/100...you get the point.

If you would like to ultimately waste your time in the dumbest and lamest way possible...pleae, go see this movie.


OH MY FECK IT WAS AWEFUL!!!!!!!!!